Sunday, September 7, 2014
I have not met an addict who was healthy in their forties or fifties. And its very hard to find an active addict or alcohol that makes it into their 60s. If they do they are sick and have not much time to live anymore. When we are young and invincible we discard such thought. After all we never believed we were gonna get old. We thought youth was ours forever. We have to always realize the clock is ticking away. Because if we dont change our destiny and quit drinking and drugging early in life, our destiny will not be a long one.
Sunday, June 8, 2014
So as early as childhood my family suffered because my mother was suffering from alcoholism. Our family, your family and the addict all suffer when a severe addiction to drugs or alcohol strikes one of our loved ones. The dilemma is that addiction is so complex we dont know what to do to stop the addiction. When I quit drinking on April 17th 1993 I wanted to do more than just stay clean and sober. I decided to make it a comittment to find out why alcoholism and drug addiction has such a powerful hold on people. I had to know why drinking alcohol was so powerful of a force that I was compelled to make the decision and take my money and screw up my life and senses by buying hard liquor and drinking it. Why did I make such a choice, a choice that caused me to isolate from friends and family, a choice that caused me many years of homelessness and financial ruin. After all, when I was getting into trouble right before I became clean and sober my brother had counseled me and told me this advice "if I knew alcohol was ruining my life, I just would quit drinking it, just stop" and he surmised to me "why cant you just stop?" Just as with anything in life, if youve never did it before you dont understand it. Its like raising your first child, after youve raised 4 or five you look back on all the mistakes you made raising the first one. The 4th or 5th child are handled better because you finally learned how to stop a kid from crying all night or how to potty train at an earlier age. So when you or loved is suffering from a severe addiction to drugs or alcohol, chances are huge you dont know the first thing to do to stop it.
You see, even my brother as smart as he was couldnt understand alcoholism and addiction. He didnt know how to help an addict sustain from their vice. He didnt understand why an addict "just didnt stop". Thats why I spent 20 years of my life after I got sober, educating myself on the reason alcoholism and drug addiction occurs, and why its forces and compulsions are so strong they cant be broken so easily. I have read over 300 books dealing with alcoholism and drug addiction recovery, addiction counseling, underlying disorders and Ive studied dual diagnosis, which is having an addiction together with a psychological disorder.
Make no mistake, addiction to alcohol and drugs is very complex, but there are underlying principals which when understood make it easy to grasp and better deal with.
In "Treating Addiction", I have taken the complex and spelled it out for you. Youll read a lot about "the unquiet mind" in this book. What the unquiet mind is, is simply a psychological, physiological, environmental (or combination of these factors) which caused the brain to become unbalanced, and with the mind being unbalanced, it is in constant search for finding balance. It is an unsettling uneasy and unquiet feeling that will make it find calm one way or the other. And the cycle of addiction will bring it calm temporarily, but also leave havoc in its wake. The perfect example of this can be seen when a smoker is locked up in a meeting for several hours and is unable to smoke a cigarette. When they finally rush outside after the meeting is over you can see them tremble and fumble with their pack of cigarettes as they pull out a cigarette and light it. Their mind is extremely unquiet and unbalanced until they take that first drag on their cigarette. Now their mind has found quietness with the niccotene hit from their smoke.But this unquietness only lasts about a half minute or so as the niccotene wears low in their brain and another "fix" is needed to bring quick calm again. Once the addict finds a way to bring calm to their mind through other ways other than the repetitive use of alcohol or drugs, then the addict is ready to live a clean productive life free from the ravages of addiction to alcohol and drugs. We call this addiction free life a "daily management" of their underlying condition. Ill provide examples of management and how to monitor your unquiet mind and keep it more balanced so your recovery can begin.
Time and time again I get emails or phone calls from people who desperately want to get help for their alcoholic or drug addicted loved one. And what they seem to hope for is a quick "cure". Instant gratification. They dont understand that its a process. Their loved one usually does not want help and they also dont know what to do themselves or else they would of done it. It takes patience. And as a loved one tries to help their family member or friend get clean, they often get frustrated in short order. Addiction to alcohol and drugs is a complex and diverse mix of issues that need to be address and corrected. All while their addicted loved one is psychologically, physiologically and also physically addicted. This needs to be rooted out and corrected in order for the compulsive pull of addiction to be reduced enough so that long term recovery is possible.
My first attempt at helping another addict get clean
When I was about one and a half years sober I had my first real attempt at helping an addict get clean. It was a challenge I was not yet ready for. I met Tonia Dunbar on the streets of Evanston Illinois. I was waiting for Edwardos pizza restaurant to open so I could apply for a job menial job there delivering pizza. After my real estate salesman career collapsed in a big way I was forced to take a job doing whatever paid cash. And pizza delivery seemed my only choice given my circumstances. I had gotten to Edwardos two hours before they were to open and was just waiting in my car listening to the radio to pass the time.
Thats when I happened upon Tonia, xxxxxx
Monday, May 26, 2014
Can psychological disorders be prevented? In some cases maybe. But how is a parent to accept the fact that they are the cause of triggering sociopathy in their children. How do you prevent a person from getting an epileptic seizure? Even though we know some causes to disorders this doesnt meaan we can prevent them or cure them. We can better understand them and hope this helps with future treatment or possible prevention but thats about all we could do. Once the brain is damaged theres no reversing it. But future advances could lay the foundation for more cures.
I had high fever convulsions when I was a child which led to my getting OCD. In brazil in the early 1990s they had a major epidemic of strep throat. tens of thousands of kids got strep throat and afterward it was noticed that over 5 percent of those affected with strep throat became permanently ill with Torrettes and OCD.
Saturday, May 24, 2014
Mom found out about self harm and is ignoring me?
To help a self harmer to recover and stop harming is a very difficult thing. It takes time and patience and therapy. Very deep therapy. As this boy describes that he comes from an abusive household. How does a child leave a home when he is not grown enough to understand how to make it on his own. The abuse will continue until he is old enough to be on his own. What child wants to turn in an abusive parent or parents. The state will bring havoc in his life if he does. Its very difficult working with adolescent victims of abuse and neglect. Often times they dont get help until they are a young adult. By that time they often have turned to drugs and alcohol to cope.
"AS THE TWIG IS BENT SO SHALL THE TREE GROW"
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Our country is on the verge of a movement which has a goal of legalizing pot to make tax revenue and not much else. Marijuana is extremely toxic. Its also highly potent compared to what the president and senators used to smokebas kids. Legalizing pot will help put the cartels in mexico out of business but watch as they use straw buyers to open businesses and invade this worrying Industry like locusts. Our country is undergoing a massive transition into becoming a poorer less prosperous nation. Local and federal governments in every state are quiety facing shadow bankruptcy. Most struggle to continue to pay the pensions of retired workers and keep up with daily services. They are using every trick they know to tax and fee residents to death. So why not make money taxing legalized marijuana. The attorney general of the united states would also like to end sending all these people to prison for marijuana possession and selling "crimes". I can study this in-depth with you here fir the pros and cons but want simply to get this point across. Life is not fair and there never will be simple answers. But with the legalization of marijuana expect to see higher cancer rates along with nore people starting on marijuana as a gateway drug to other harder more deadly drugs. Expect to see more traffic deaths and also expect to see more kids buying it as it becomes "accepted". The government will also soon want in on more profits so they will take over the growing and selling role on many fronts. This isnt good news but then what are the answers. Everything in life goes through cycles and in twenty years when the global economy has hopefully healed look for marijuana legalization to be reconsidered for the reasons I just brought up. Its a tough society. We need to be good parents and educate our children to the dangers of any type of drug use that alters our minds in such a strong addictive way.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
You see he did not have his addictions under control. Just like the immortal Bill Wilson who quit his drinking and founded AA, he too was on an addict who did not have his life under control. He was a sex addict and heavy womanizer, he smoked heavily and suffered from severe depression. Bill Wilson died at age 71 from Emphysema. So just because you quit your main severe addiction does not mean you are well and worries over. It is even recommended to gravitate toward another less harmful addiction in order to quit your severe one. If you don't choose a new addiction then your unquiet mind in a quest for quietness will choose a new addiction for you. The goal when you quit your addiction is to treat the underlying causes of that addiction to lessen the pull towards the addiction cycle again. You lessen the addictive pull by treating any underlying psychological disorders, eliminating stress and changing your environmental ques that create havoc on your mind.
Bottom line is this: When you quit your addiction you must have a good support network of friends to lean on and you must figure out the proper daily management regimen to lessen your addictive pull and this way you can live a new life without having new destructive addictions or slips and relapses all the time. Daily management.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Whether a person is black or white or brown or Catholic or Muslim or Republican or Democrat does not matter. What they all have in common is that they suffer horribly when severely addicted to drugs or alcohol. My life journey going forward (and for the past 19 years) has been to help suffering alcoholics and drug addicts end their suffering and repair their family situation so that everyone involved in their lives can begin to heal.
It just tears my soul apart when I feel other people suffering and through the information I have to offer I hope my vast knowledge can bring comfort. That is my goal. Please take advantage of the love and knowledge I have to give to you, the addict or the loved one of the addict."Treating Addiction" was my work of nearly twenty years gathering the "right" information dealing with the root causes of Alcoholism and Drug Addiction.
excerpts like this I passionately share with you:
Together We will get well. I am by your side.
Love, John Joseph
Saturday, December 29, 2012
I know it hurts your loved one to have them in a full fledged addiction to drugs or alcohol and its hurting the family too. It is real pain and suffering dealing with addiction. When your loved one talks to you you don't know if they are lying to you or telling the truth. Everytime they leave the room to go to the bathroom or get something downstairs you don't know if they are sneaking out or not. I
experience the same thing with addicts I work very close with. It hurts. I feel for you. There is a constant flood of emotions. Anxiety, pity, scared, hurt, exasperation and frustration all at once. That's why you want the addiction to end.
The lack of trust is the real problem. When your loved one finally does wind up in recovery you are always asking yourself and them for reassurance that "this time" it's for real. You fear your loved one may get a sexually transmitted disease or may get hurt ort passout at the wheel of a car. Or worse maybe even O D on some bad stuff, or too much stuff. The suffering is endless. Your mind may get trancefixed on a good or funny movie and forget about the issue for a while only to sudden spring back into your mind and numb your mind out again. You may get some sleep at night only to suddenly awaken and rember everything again in a sudden hurry. It hurts. Addiction is so much pain to so many. That's why I am dedicating all my time to bring you the info and support you need to get through this and get through to your loved one so that a change of direction can occur. There is not a waking moment that I don't think about the suffering and homelessness my mother went through because of her addiction to alcohol. She was a sharp witted tough woman and alcohol took away that beautiful mind. Her addiction to alcohol took her away from my brother, sister and me. There was not a day when I was a little boy that I did not worry about if she was ok. Or if she was warm and inside in the winter time. I just needed reasurrace to know that, and it was something I never got. I hurt for those I try to help, I hurt when I see thier families and children go through what I went through.
The thoughts of people hurting and suffering the streets to addiction never leaves my mind. It has placed a permanent imprint on my life. I know that you too feel the same way.
The best advice I could give you is to never give up. Do not take no for an answer. Do not get your loved one mad at you. Show them always that you love them. Tell them always that you want to help them make a change. Talk to other addicts family members and get advice and support. Find it on the web and also go to Al Anon mettings for support and also to get your emotional battery recharged. Trudge on because your loved one needs you more than they need anyone else. You must work hard to find out what issues and or disorders your loved one faces. This is where the root of the problem rests. Remember it's not the addiction that is destroying the family and the addict. It is the underlying triggers that create the compulsive pull which is causing your loved one to need to calm thier inquiet mind through addiction to substances. They are self medicating.
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