Sunday, February 12, 2012

Little Ray began with a choice.

It really is not our choice. Ray is here because a choice was made though. Little Ray's mom is a ward of the state of Illinois and she was being "advised" to "not deal" with having and raising Ray. I am The foster parent of Rays mom and I let his mom know that Ray is not a choice. He is a live human being who too wants to grow up and have a Facebook account. His mom feeling reassured decided to have Ray. It was her choice. Look at the picture of Ray. Is he a choice. The only choice Ray is, is the choice to keep him alive and that choice should not be ours because of "inconvenience". How someone can make a "choice' to not let Ray be here is something I will never understand. Ray entered this world 5 months ago and we are better for that. He has his whole life ahead of him, may it be with joy. Life is truly a miracle, not a choice.

With the death of Whitney Houston comes a horrible saga of suffering and a sad reminder.

                                                             I will always love you.....
by John Joseph
I was saddened and moved to tears when hearing of the death yesterday of Whitney Houston. I have always liked her singing, she had a great voice. But it was her personal life that caught my constant attention. Her addiction to drugs and alcohol was tragic and showed that she was truly suffering from a lot of mental anguish and torment. She was a heavy crack addict and seemed compelled to following a destructive path. It seemed obvious that she could not stop using drugs. I had read that it was her ex-husband Bobby Brown who had first turned her on to smoking crack cocaine. I don't know for sure if that is true or not but surely he had deep addiction issues also. Whitney was not well mentally. her brain was "stuck in mollasis". When a persons mind is so tormented by deep un-balanced psychological issues and have a constant compulsion to self medicate with drugs and alcohol it can be nearly impossible for them to get well. Whitney was one such sufferer. I have known quite a few like her and it just tears me apart to see this destruction happen to her. Whitney's death was something I had feared would be her most likely outcome. I had seen her ravaged life story on the cover of many tabloids as I checked out in the super market and it always brought such sadness to me. I so much wanted her to get well. In her life I had a constant reminder of the worst destruction addiction can bring to a person. When I heard the news about Whitney's passing I shed some strong emotion, and not just for her, but it made me think about the others I know who are suffering just as much as Whitney had. It makes me want to bring a re-newed commitment to helping the ones I know who are still alive but suffering themselves being stuck in molasis. I have struggled with mental health issues and even as bright as I think I am, I too have spent many years stuck in mollasis.  Mental torment and the compulsive addictive pull are a strong illness that can take down the brightest minds. These "sick" addicts are so often misunderstood and demonized as if they have no control over the choice to so destructively use. i am writing this even before i have found out the cause of Whitney's tragic death. It seems so obvious what the outcome of her death inquiry will be. And something I see across the many news stories about her tragic situation is an acceptance. A sad acceptance in that it really seems people get it, that she was a great talent who truly was not well and suffered so mightily. I don't hear the stories of how bad drugs are for you and the "don't use drugs spin". What is highlighted is that she had a deep battle with a suffering issue. It seems clear to everyone that for as talented as she was, people seem to know in their hearts that if she could have quit her addiction to save her career she would have. Addiction is not a choice. It is the minds attempt to bring balance and self medicate from deeply hurtful feelings of strong devastating emotions. Addiction works, but only temporarily, as the self medicating wears off the destructive cycle must continue to once again bring a temporary calm etc, etc. But in addictions wake families are torn apart, lives are shattered and careers lost, somehow to no avail. Whitney never seemed able to overcome these mighty forces, and in that, the suffering she experienced is now over, but has not ended in a way we had hoped and prayed it would for her. God bless you Whitney, I am so sorry you experienced such torment. I am so so sorry, for you, and others still experiencing the same thing.

Friday, November 11, 2011

John Joseph's e books being published shortly through many outlets.

My addiction e books will be coming to many different outlets on the web. Ebay, Amazon.com and Smashwords just to name a few. Also out by Jan 1st 2012 will be many free self help videos on youtube. It is my intention to to bring you recovery help at near nothing in cost. my many e books will be self published to save you money and they will be priced at around $2.00.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

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With severe addiction, the problem isn't the drinking/drugging, that's only a symptom of the underlying issues.

 by John Jopseph
It's being uninformed to think that it's the drinking and drugging that is ruining your life or your loved ones life. When you or your loved one finally does quit drinking/drugging the new person will have lots of work to do to eliminate the emotional and psychological reasons for the triggering of the addiction. The addict did not one day decide to over use drugs or alcohol, that decision was decided for them before they even started their vice. Granted, every addiction is quite different in intensity and it's extreme diversity. When an alcoholic quits drinking the feelings they feel after abstaining are called a"dry drunk". An experienced holistic therapist described her fathers quitting alcoholism to me this way. " When my dad finally did quit his heavy drinking I quickly realized what a rotten and evil abusive and mean man he really was. he was a real bastard when he quit drinking and I found out that's why he started drinking, because he had a lot of intense psychological issues within him. He was self medicating because of all his twisted and chemically unbalanced mind had to try to deal with. Alcohol sedated the monster underneath. He was a bitter and suffering dry drunk." Severe addiction to drugs and alcohol is a way to self medicate and ease the suffering sort of. Emotional issues almost always underlie heavy addictions and until you address these issues and diagnosis, you will never get well and abstain. Bill Wilson founded Alcoholics Anonymous and always quit his severe alcoholism, but still he had many more issues which he never addressed and these did him just as much harm as his drinking did. He died of emphasema at age 71 because he was a heavy smoker, he suffered with major bouts of depression and was also a sex addict whose womanizing brought great pain to his marriage and almost scandalize Alcoholics Anonymous had his sex addiction become known. So if you think that by your or your loved one "finally" giving up their addiction that they are cured, please be prepared for the real work ahead, and that is daily maintenance and treatment in order to stay clean and sober and not relapse. A relapse means they have not treated their underlying issues. There are several studies being undertaken which are proving to be very eye opening regarding addiction and lack of longevity. A recent study claimed that a severe addict/alcoholic's live 10 to 20 years less even if they quit their addictions. This is because the underlying issues are not being treated after they abstain, and through their unquiet mind they are also dying sooner because of stress related illnesses.