Sunday, February 12, 2012

Little Ray began with a choice.

It really is not our choice. Ray is here because a choice was made though. Little Ray's mom is a ward of the state of Illinois and she was being "advised" to "not deal" with having and raising Ray. I am The foster parent of Rays mom and I let his mom know that Ray is not a choice. He is a live human being who too wants to grow up and have a Facebook account. His mom feeling reassured decided to have Ray. It was her choice. Look at the picture of Ray. Is he a choice. The only choice Ray is, is the choice to keep him alive and that choice should not be ours because of "inconvenience". How someone can make a "choice' to not let Ray be here is something I will never understand. Ray entered this world 5 months ago and we are better for that. He has his whole life ahead of him, may it be with joy. Life is truly a miracle, not a choice.

With the death of Whitney Houston comes a horrible saga of suffering and a sad reminder.

                                                             I will always love you.....
by John Joseph
I was saddened and moved to tears when hearing of the death yesterday of Whitney Houston. I have always liked her singing, she had a great voice. But it was her personal life that caught my constant attention. Her addiction to drugs and alcohol was tragic and showed that she was truly suffering from a lot of mental anguish and torment. She was a heavy crack addict and seemed compelled to following a destructive path. It seemed obvious that she could not stop using drugs. I had read that it was her ex-husband Bobby Brown who had first turned her on to smoking crack cocaine. I don't know for sure if that is true or not but surely he had deep addiction issues also. Whitney was not well mentally. her brain was "stuck in mollasis". When a persons mind is so tormented by deep un-balanced psychological issues and have a constant compulsion to self medicate with drugs and alcohol it can be nearly impossible for them to get well. Whitney was one such sufferer. I have known quite a few like her and it just tears me apart to see this destruction happen to her. Whitney's death was something I had feared would be her most likely outcome. I had seen her ravaged life story on the cover of many tabloids as I checked out in the super market and it always brought such sadness to me. I so much wanted her to get well. In her life I had a constant reminder of the worst destruction addiction can bring to a person. When I heard the news about Whitney's passing I shed some strong emotion, and not just for her, but it made me think about the others I know who are suffering just as much as Whitney had. It makes me want to bring a re-newed commitment to helping the ones I know who are still alive but suffering themselves being stuck in molasis. I have struggled with mental health issues and even as bright as I think I am, I too have spent many years stuck in mollasis.  Mental torment and the compulsive addictive pull are a strong illness that can take down the brightest minds. These "sick" addicts are so often misunderstood and demonized as if they have no control over the choice to so destructively use. i am writing this even before i have found out the cause of Whitney's tragic death. It seems so obvious what the outcome of her death inquiry will be. And something I see across the many news stories about her tragic situation is an acceptance. A sad acceptance in that it really seems people get it, that she was a great talent who truly was not well and suffered so mightily. I don't hear the stories of how bad drugs are for you and the "don't use drugs spin". What is highlighted is that she had a deep battle with a suffering issue. It seems clear to everyone that for as talented as she was, people seem to know in their hearts that if she could have quit her addiction to save her career she would have. Addiction is not a choice. It is the minds attempt to bring balance and self medicate from deeply hurtful feelings of strong devastating emotions. Addiction works, but only temporarily, as the self medicating wears off the destructive cycle must continue to once again bring a temporary calm etc, etc. But in addictions wake families are torn apart, lives are shattered and careers lost, somehow to no avail. Whitney never seemed able to overcome these mighty forces, and in that, the suffering she experienced is now over, but has not ended in a way we had hoped and prayed it would for her. God bless you Whitney, I am so sorry you experienced such torment. I am so so sorry, for you, and others still experiencing the same thing.